I dropped by ShoeDazzle’s Santa Monica showroom earlier today, to interview their newly minted Chief Stylist, Rachel Zoe.

While I waited for The Hollywood Reporter’s representative to finish up her line of questioning, I kicked back on the couch next to a couple of friendly faces.

They immediately complimented me on my shoes. I immediately loved them. (It doesn’t take much to get on my good side.)

I explained that, while the shoes themselves were branded by rival e-commerce site,ShoeMint, I had painted the flowers on them. They responded with the appropriate level of interest, before introducing themselves as Brian and Mira.

Brian: You could make a living off of that.

Me: Ugh, I would love to make a living off of it. I could paint shoes all day long.

Brian: Which publication are you with?

Me: FabFitFun

[insert brief dialogue regarding target demos, etc]

Me: You guys are at ShoeDazzle?

They nod.

I get called up to the director’s chair, and gawkily extricate my 5’11” limbs and 5” heels from the low-sitting loveseat.

Brian: (to Mira) She’s really tall.

So I’ve heard.

Ten minutes later, I was walking out the door, internally rehashing the first part of our conversation. (I’ve been trying to figure out how, exactly, to make a living off of my penchant for arts, crafts & shoes for quite awhile now, so it’s nice to have an unsolicited vote of confidence from a stranger.)

In the parking lot, I paused to check the audio on my interview recording. Rachel’s voice pervaded my Prius, “I really admired what Brian Lee, as the CEO, has been doing here – and his wife, Mira.”

Brian and Mira. Right. Brian, the CEO of ShoeDazzle, and his wife, Mira.

“You guys are at ShoeDazzle?”

…

I’m an idiot.

Also - BLee, can we chat a bit more about my future career in shoe decoration? Thanks.

Sidenote: If anyone would like to buy the above-pictured shoes, they’re available for sale on Etsy. Size 8. $150. Get in there.

…I know. SWOON.  improbablygonnabeacatlady and I decide we have no choice but to conjure up a new persona and send a heartfelt reply. Let’s see how this active, outgoing small business owner reacts to a solid dose of sardonic sass.  T… — …I know. SWOON. *improbablygonnabeacatlady* and I decide we have no choice but to conjure up a new persona and send a heartfelt reply. Let’s see how this active, outgoing small business owner reacts to a solid dose of sardonic sass. *This will be so funny!!! Wonder which Marina bar he’ll suggest for their first cocktail half hour!*
**15 minutes later, Rebecca Dwyer was born. And this was en route to Romeo’s inbox:**

2 days later. No reply. Probably going to wait the requisite 3 days. NBD. I get busy with [my incredibly exciting] life and fail to notice that an entire week has passed. Omg. He’s probably dying, wondering why I haven’t replied yet! I can hard… — **2 days later. No reply. Probably going to wait the requisite 3 days. NBD.**
I get busy with [my incredibly exciting] life and fail to notice that an entire week has passed. Omg. He’s probably dying, wondering why I haven’t replied yet! I can hardly wait to see the fratastic gem that is surely residing in Rebecca’s inbox!
…
**Nothing. There is nothing in her inbox.**
**I checked again today, JIC. (Just in case. Duh.) Still nothing in her inbox, aside from Gmail’s excessive slash unnecessary welcome messages.**
**Awesome. My Internet creation can’t even get a fake date with a douchebag on Craigslist.**
**Maybe he’s in the hospital?**

The trials & travails

of

stacie corliss

an autobiography. filed under awkwardness & embarrassment at your local library.

don't try to ask them about it at the desk. it gets really weird...really fast.

Note from the author:
my existence is magically tragic. mostly because jesus has decided to use my life for his own entertainment. it's okay to be a little bit jealous.