Him: "Are you wearing a star-spangled bra?"
Her: "I practice non-seasonal patriotism, you finger-wagging Whig."
Him: "And sluttiness. There’s definitely a little sluttiness to this look." Pauses. Then continues hurriedly. "But, like, Statue of Liberty slutty."
Her: Straight face. Single blink.
I like to think of this little ode to our-country-‘tis-of-thee as a round-up of middle-class consumerism: Mall brands at the outlets, sample sale selections, resale store goodies, and a dash of affordable e-commerce. Ohhh say can you see. (If you can’t, please sign off immediately and call your optometrist.)
I snagged the open-knit sweater at a 360SWEATER sample sale a couple summers ago, and promptly opened some of those knits a bit further with my snag-happy accessories. I like to pretend those holes are there on purpose. It’s starting to take a heaping spoonful of sass and a healthy injection of apathy to pull off that one in front.
The striped denim mini is a BeBe outlet find from almost a decade ago. It’s holding on like Hamlet. My favorite thing about this skirt is the figure-flattering ruffle at the top. Warning: Objects in mirror are probably not as skinny-ish as they appear.
The crimson-starred metallic bra is a special little something I plucked from the piles atBuffalo Exchange during my sophomore year of college, in preparation for Beta Halloween. The costume: A vague interpretation of Wonder Woman. It wasn’t really working for me. Really hoping those photos never surface. Especially that one of me on the bus…let’s not talk about it.
The lace-up boot is ShoeMint’s Suki. I used to wear this pair of legitimate sidewalk stompers with everything until I forgot all about them, leaving them to breathe in the fumes at Fast & Best Shoe Repair. Really excited for this whole reunion situation.
The bag? Well, that’s my work bag. (Also ShoeMint.) It wasn’t supposed to be in the photo. Talk about a Stage Five Clinger.
Takes one to know one? (Yes, I just wanted to beat you to it.)
God. Bless. America.
Photo Credit: ithinkironyisSOfunny